Perhaps

Quiet yet restless,
Wandering yet thoughtful,
Tired yet Unwilling to rest,
Staring blankly at 3am.

Sleep? Perhaps to be awaken by the feeling of drowning in the sea...
Rest? Perhaps the worries floods my mind...
Nothing to do? Plenty, yet, the feeling of I don't feel like doing it...
Purpose? Many roles and responsibilities, yet unfulfilled...

Why then, when I am suppose to be thriving on this that I felt the weight too heavy on my shoulder?
Perhaps I need a holiday, perhaps I need rest
Perhaps I should be looking outward for the answer,
Perhaps I should look to God for an answer,
Perhaps I should look inward and ask my unknown self.

Perhaps I don't know myself well enough until now,
That I may have made decisions that my 'self' don't agree to.

What do you want, 'self'?
Perhaps I should continue telling my 'self' and tell him to obey
Perhaps I should try asking my 'self' and ask him what he wants?
Perhaps conversation with close friends and family may be able to help me?
Perhaps a quiet conversation with my 'self' would be interesting...

Where do I find my 'self'?
Perhaps, the Bible...
Perhaps, with all the Gurus and Teachers of motivation...
Perhaps, in meditation and isolation...
Perhaps, in giving and helping others, I may help myself...
Perhaps, in self indulgence, I may appease myself...

Perhaps...
This is how human feels, just that it is not talked about
Perhaps...
I am mentally disturbed and require medical attention
Perhaps...
That I am thinking too much, and I should just chill off and go back to life
Perhaps...
This is a call for journey of self discovery, that I need to embark in the one thing,
That will spark me to life again, the one thing that may be the purpose of my life.

Perhaps...


~~~ Life is an adventure where we search for the meaning of the outcome.