17th March 18- Emotional Roller Coaster (Part 1)

Our family knew what was coming, but didn't know in what form and how it would come. Eventually it starts to happen, he complains about dizziness and loss of appetite. He was saying that it is some normal stuff, perhaps wrong food, side effect or simply some viral attack. Seen a GP, had pressure checked, sugar level check, physical examination done, nothing. GP starts us off with some medicine to take care of nausea and vomit.

He took it but it wasn't useful at all. The dizziness got worse, the appetite didn't return and a bit of slur speech got him. It didn't look too normal now. After discussing with a couple of family member who's from the medical profession, we decided to bring him to the Emergency.

At the Emergency, things escalated quickly, from blood test and x-ray, and finally decision to had a CT scan. It all happen within the day itself and it was found that some stuff went to the head/brain. There's no way to decide of what is the next course of action and the head Dr wanted to have a better scan on the head before we do anything else. Unfortunately it does not open over the weekend, so the fastest arrangement for the scan is on Monday. Perhaps with the results on Monday, we will know what the prognosis is and what would be the next course of treatment.

It all happened so fast. My memory of him is a strong, hardworking and objective person. He is to me, perhaps the move efficient and effective person, having very clear objective what to do and he'll have it all plan out much earlier. He doesn't give me a hug but he is a very assuring father that deep down you know he cares deeply for whatever that's happening around me.

I remember at every juncture of major events in my life, he is there to listen. And he doesn't have all the solutions, but a day or two later, he'll always come back with some ideas and what he thinks he can help me with. He's always there for me, though his work sometimes takes him away from me for many months, at times near to a year.

My prayer is to make this weekend fast, God preserve him and let him be well. Let Monday come so that Dr can continue the diagnosis and treatment. We knew about his decision, we knew about the eventuality but to be this fast is mind boggling. Frankly I am unsure how I am going to take this, this really doesn't look real. I want to go to bed and wake up from this nightmare, I am thinking if I convince myself enough this is a dream, perhaps it would be, bringing me back to another timeline in another dimension where perhaps, the outcome would have been somewhat different. Multiverse could be something real, that I can somehow switch over, to a more desirable reality.




~~~ Life is an adventure where we search for the meaning of the outcome.