Friday, April 06, 2018

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to you...
I hope the well wishes will make you happier,
A lot has happen and will continue to happen.

Make less rules,
Don't expect so much from others, perhaps then, you would have less disappointment,
Have less expectations,
You may not know what others are going through.

Things happen for a reason, and things are happening.
Rocking your foundation to the very core.

I know if given a wish, what would you want.
You would want to give health to your father.
He is weak and he is frail. It is so hard seeing it.
I wish you could do a bit better, giving him as much comfort, in this part of his journey of life.

As I see you caring for him, don't forget the rest of family are also here.
I know you can stay strong for them, uniting and assuring them.
You need to, you have to.

I wish you can control your emotion,
Your kids need you to be calm and assuring, while loving.
Your family needs you to make decisions and be present.
Your wife needs you to communicate the feelings that is bottled up.
I wish you all the best. While I know it is hard to juggle, eventually you will succeed.

Remembering what Dad has always thought us, rightfully or wrongfully it is not for me to judge.
It is for me to make my life better, and having him always in our hearts.

I am your logic, you are the heart and soul. Happy Birthday to us!

~~~ Life is an adventure where we search for the meaning of the outcome.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Pain...

I don't remember having so much pain in my life... And I am facing it now. We feel pain when we are inflicted with injury, we felt that we lost something in our lives or we feel empty. Right now, I felt that I have lost something in my life. So often, we race the rat race and rushing here and there, running up and down, without ever knowing where we are headed to.

With the latest lost in my life, I felt that a lot of things does not have the same meaning any more. For a few days now, I felt that I have lost the energy and the will to wake up, and whatever I do, the same memory of  the lost' haunts me. Even when I am doing my favorite things or watching my favorite series. Perhaps time is my best friend to help me heal, to help me dilute the pain that is inside.

Kind of thinking back, school teaches us a lot of things, but there are lots more that didn't come with the school system. I remember one was financial literacy, the other I supposed is how to manage loss or emotion. We have to really loss something to learn this though. When something inevitable coming my way, the memory of Aidan suddenly pops into my mind again, and it is fresh again of what has happened. Life at this point seems a culmination of loss, sorrow and pain. It will probably need to take a long time again for me to to somewhere where pain is less.

I can only thing of moving forward, for my family. My mind is exhausted, body seems weary and the thought that I cannot sustain another day seems very real. Prayers, that God somehow grant me strength to stay on and stay the course, seems to be able to make me feel relieve. As I sip the last of my chamomile tea, I hope that too will calm me, but the restlessness and the feeling that 'something is not right' is felt throughout the day. And when I start to feel better, my mind reminds me that all is not right. All indeed is not right, and pray that I can really struggle through this time with some miraculous help.


5 things to do, to change your life

Be warned, it is not shortcut! Found reading the following (which I was reading off Facebook) very true and can't find the original owner to link it with, but, I am putting the content here just to really remind myself we cannot waste any time. If it is 2 or 3 hours of productive time in a very tired evening, I'll have to utilize that to make myself better. Funnily enough the use of word cultivation and yes, it is so true. And keeping the momentum and motivation is important as well. Without further delay, here is the long interesting passage that will inspire you....
You finish work at 6 pm, go to bed at 12 midnight. Within these six hours, how do you spend them? Watching TV? In fact, the activities you do between 6 am and 12 midnight, the importance of it is beyond your imagination.
Too many people believe that, your career is determined by the 8 hours of hard work and effort you put at work, and your future and career progression depend on the boss and the company. But the reality is that for most people, the company is leveraging your effort to make big money and you could be on your own, depending on the work you do and the value you provide. “Cultivation”, is our personal responsibility. If you found yourself not progressing in life, you cannot blame and put the responsibility on your company for not spoon feeding you.
  1. What you do every night is important
  2. Read more, anything will do!
  3. Do some projects
  4. Actively build your connections (contact smart friends, and learn their opinions, get information and knowledge that are difficult to obtain, help the company look for more potential partners, or income generating opportunities)
  5. The CHANGE of your LIFE starts TONIGHT


My major in college was marketing, but I expect to become a designer. So I practiced day and night, picking up some freelance work to improve my design skills. It took me a long time. When I became a boss, I no longer need to involve myself in design work, So I went back to the Marketing field.
Every day, when my children are sleeping, I began learning to gain more knowledge, this again took me a long time, But I begin to realize my returns. If I rely on my working hours to gain skills, then I will never have become a creative director and a product manager, or like today, teaching MBA students on Marketing. What I rely on, is myself giving myself “lessons”. And the most successful people I knew, walked the same path as I am.
I have a friend who is a History graduate, but he is interested in technical sales, In the day, he does telemarketing, at night he learns how to code, Finally, he became the vice president of sales in a startup company. Now, he’s a CTO. 
I have another friend, he received a degree in political science. But he’s very interested in entrepreneurship. he learnt a lot of knowledge on how to start up a company, eventually, he founded a company and sold it, Now he has reaped the rewards.
 For them, what they do between 6 pm till 12 midnight, is what determined their future. Clearly, we need to balance life and work. If you have a wife and children, every night, you have to stay with them. Even if you are single, you also need a reasonable allocation of time to go to the gym, to meet with friends, or be alone to meditate and so on.
Of course, watching movies, playing games is good. But there are things you do not need to do. For example, watching the new season of a Netflix drama, 14 hours per week watching television (This is the average amount of time watching television). The time spent playing the game Candy Crush.Or spending time stalking your high school alumni on Facebook, it does not seem to be good. So what should you do?
 My college mentor was born in Alabama, A poor African family. He was admitted to West Point Military Academy, and he became the first person in the family to go college. Before going to Harvard for his MBA, he’s a trained officer. When I met him, he has already developed his career in the city of Colorado Springs. I asked him, what’s his biggest success? He replied, because he kept the habit of reading, and he never stopped. He believed that if you want to get what you want in life, knowledge is the key. He often asked his interviewees what book are they reading now, the excellent ones can give an answer immediately. Reading can give you a good headstart, this is often what your peers cannot obtain. Compared to others, you are more likely to know other industries strategies and tactics, and that may be helpful to your company.
 You can transfer your knowledge within the organization, create new possibilities for your company. Moreover, your conversation topics will become more interesting. Anthony Robbins said: “If you spend one hour a day to learn about a topic, a year later, in this regard, the knowledge you gain will be more than 99.999% of the world’s people.”Even if you have 30 minutes every night, each week you can easily read a book. You may not be an expert, but I promise, you’ll know more than what your peers know.
You can apply the knowledge learnt to real work scenario, this is only an ideal state. If your company did not give you this opportunity, create opportunities for yourself. You can do some volunteer projects. They can bring you fame. Working with a team, you’ll understand how things work. In the practical application of the industry, and how it ultimately affect actual customers. You’ll learn how to perform the task and meet deadlines, and get feedbacks on what you are doing, and benefit from it.
 When you are not strong enough, these experience may not have any value to you. But you are still a novice. these experiences are far more valuable than the miserable pay you are getting. If you can really convince others of your pockets of fruits of labour, Then go try it. But do not let these private jobs affect your work.
In your career path, a strong network of connections will make everything accelerate. If you have not set up your own personal connections, you’ll need to divide a portion of your time to do this. A strong network of relationships, can enable you: Go get to know your work colleague or boss….. If you are an entrepreneur, your network connections will be your early customers, your staffs are a source of capital rather than go home, or going to a bar, you should find some inner circles. There are many small groups which are highly relevant to your career. You should try to integrate into these circles. Every week, you can drink coffee together with new friends, go drinking or have breakfast.
 You can also look into everyone’s career developments on LinkedIn. And establish a network with mentors in those professional industries. They may be your next job employer, who knows? Your connections will be your most powerful asset in the workplace. Since you have time to watch “The Voice of China”, you have time to build a social network.
 6 pm to 12 am, you go home, though physically and mentally tired, you are free to do anything and do not have to take orders from others. During this time, you can switch off like switching off your computer at your workplace, switch off your brain. But you can also do something, make you smarter, stronger, have a wider network of people. From the start tonight, take an hour a day to do these things, I guarantee that after a year, your career, and life will change.
~~~ Life is an adventure where we search for the meaning of the outcome.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

17th March 18- Emotional Roller Coaster (Part 1)



Our family knew what was coming, but didn't know in what form and how it would come. Eventually it starts to happen, he complains about dizziness and loss of appetite. He was saying that it is some normal stuff, perhaps wrong food, side effect or simply some viral attack. Seen a GP, had pressure checked, sugar level check, physical examination done, nothing. GP starts us off with some medicine to take care of nausea and vomit.

He took it but it wasn't useful at all. The dizziness got worse, the appetite didn't return and a bit of slur speech got him. It didn't look too normal now. After discussing with a couple of family member who's from the medical profession, we decided to bring him to the Emergency.

At the Emergency, things escalated quickly, from blood test and x-ray, and finally decision to had a CT scan. It all happen within the day itself and it was found that some stuff went to the head/brain. There's no way to decide of what is the next course of action and the head Dr wanted to have a better scan on the head before we do anything else. Unfortunately it does not open over the weekend, so the fastest arrangement for the scan is on Monday. Perhaps with the results on Monday, we will know what the prognosis is and what would be the next course of treatment.

It all happened so fast. My memory of him is a strong, hardworking and objective person. He is to me, perhaps the move efficient and effective person, having very clear objective what to do and he'll have it all plan out much earlier. He doesn't give me a hug but he is a very assuring father that deep down you know he cares deeply for whatever that's happening around me.

I remember at every juncture of major events in my life, he is there to listen. And he doesn't have all the solutions, but a day or two later, he'll always come back with some ideas and what he thinks he can help me with. He's always there for me, though his work sometimes takes him away from me for many months, at times near to a year.

My prayer is to make this weekend fast, God preserve him and let him be well. Let Monday come so that Dr can continue the diagnosis and treatment. We knew about his decision, we knew about the eventuality but to be this fast is mind boggling. Frankly I am unsure how I am going to take this, this really doesn't look real. I want to go to bed and wake up from this nightmare, I am thinking if I convince myself enough this is a dream, perhaps it would be, bringing me back to another timeline in another dimension where perhaps, the outcome would have been somewhat different. Multiverse could be something real, that I can somehow switch over, to a more desirable reality.




~~~ Life is an adventure where we search for the meaning of the outcome.

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